Read more in Self-Worth & Standards
- Are my standards too high in dating, and how can I tell?
Wondering whether your dating standards are too high? Explore the difference between essential needs, personal preferences and room for compromise.
- What to do when you're afraid to ask for more in a relationship
Afraid to ask for more in a relationship? Find clear, caring ways to understand your needs, talk about them and consider your partner's response.
- How to set boundaries in dating without feeling guilty
A thoughtful guide to dating boundaries, with ways to say what you need, understand the guilt and respond kindly without withdrawing your decision.
- What being called too much in a relationship really means
Being called too much in a relationship can leave you unsure of yourself. Explore what the comment means and how to respond without dismissing your needs.
- How to tell if you're dating potential, not reality
A heartfelt look at dating potential rather than reality, with ways to recognise genuine change and decide whether the relationship works for you now.
It can be difficult to ask
You may have rehearsed the conversation several times and still end up saying everything is fine. Perhaps you'd like more time together. Perhaps you're tired of being the person who changes plans. You're worried that asking will make you seem demanding.
Sometimes a request needs adjusting. Sometimes the other person simply wants a different relationship from the one you want. Saying what you mean gives you both a chance to find that out.
Start with something specific
Wanting someone who cares about you matters, but it can be hard to discuss in the middle of an argument. What has left you feeling uncared for? Was it a forgotten arrangement, an unkind remark or a decision you expected to make together?
A specific example gives the other person something they can answer. Their response can also help you decide whether another conversation would be useful, or whether you've already explained the same problem several times.
There's room to reconsider
You can realise a preference isn't as important as you thought. You can also discover that something you agreed to doesn't work for you after all.
The articles here cover standards, guilt after saying no, being called too much and hoping a partner will change. They aren't a checklist for finding fault. They're a way to think about the relationship you have, including your own part in it, without overlooking what you need.